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Boerekos met ’n twist gee ’n kwyllekker kinkel aan eenvoudige, voedsame huiskos wat jou ma, ouma en oumagrootjie gemaak het

Boerekos met 'n TwistIn Boerekos met ’n twist gee Annelien Pienaar ’n kwyllekker kinkel aan die eenvoudige, voedsame huiskos wat jou ma, ouma en oumagrootjie gemaak het.

Elkeen van dié 140 familieresepte vir soppe, souse, groente-, vleis- en nageregte én gebak en spenstreffers is deeglik getoets, bevat g’n vreemde bestanddele nie en sit die “resep-met-’n-les” konsep voort wat haar gelyknamige blog en Facebookblad so ’n ongekende sosialemediasukses maak.

Tussendeur help sy lesers om basiese kombuisvaardighede onder die knie te kry én sy deel nuttige raad, kortpaaie en plaasvervangers waarmee selfs groentjies vinniger, goedkoper en met meer selfvertroue vooruit sal boer in die kombuis.

As voedselwetenskaplike, kookskooleienaar, boervrou, werkende ma en blogger met haar vinger stewig op die pols van die volk weet Annelien presies wat kosmakers én -eters nou nodig het: ’n kompakte 21ste eeuse Kook en geniet vir besige mense.
 
 
 
 
Annelien Pienaar, ’n voedselwetenskaplike, en haar man, Hanru, is pekanneutboere en eienaars van die gasteplaas Bos-en-Berg by Skeerpoort (naby Hartbeespoort) van waar sy haar kookskool en haar trefferblog, BoereKosTwist, bedryf.

Boekbesonderhede

Kokkedoortjie is ’n kookboek vir die kind in ons almal

Die inspirasie waarop elke gesin gewag het. Kokkedoortjie volg in die spore van die uiters gewilde Kokkedoor- en Koekedoor-reekse, met tien jong kinderkokke wat meeding vir die titel van die land se beste kinderkok.

Dié kookboek is ’n versamelstuk vir die derduisende aanhangers wat die Kokkedoortjies leer lief kry het, en wil bak en kook soos hulle.

Kokkedoortjie is ’n gesinskookboek, ’n kinderkookboek, ’n kookboek vir die kind in ons almal. Dit verweef elke dag se staatmakerresepte met ’n unieke bestanddeel – die kleurvolle verbeelding van ’n kind.

Dit wissel van eiernessies vir ontbyt, die beste kosblik-toebroodjies ooit, koekies vir Entrepreneursdag, trooskos, sportiewe hamburgers, piekniekslaaie in flesse, poetsbak-poedings, plaatkoekies en pannekoek. Daar is kreatiewe visgeregte en die finaliste se wengeregte wat die land se monde laat water. Die beoordelaars deel ook hul gunstelingresepte in die boek.
 
 
Errieda du Toit, inhoudsvervaardiger: kos van Kokkedoortjie, vang die hoogtepunte van die reeks in dié boek vas. Kokkedoortjie is haar agste boek. Sy is ’n geliefde kok en radiopersoonlikheid – haar weeklikse koerantrubrieke en kosblog Huiskok.com word verslind en haar mees onlangse boek, Tuistafel, word uit alle oorde besing.

Edwin Theron (13) van Worcester – wenner van Kokkedoortjie – is die spreekwoordelike klein pakkie met groot verrassings. In sy eie woorde: ‘die kleinste sleutels maak die grootste deure oop’. Hy is ‘n self-geleerde jong kok wat elke aand kos maak vir sy ma Marietjie en sussie Martli, wat hom baie selfvertroue in die kombuis gegee het.

Hy is vreesloos (hy is ‘n bekroonde stoeier, boer nou met bye en eet brandrissies soos lekkergoed) en avontuurlik, maar weet ook hoe om kos te maak wat almal van hou om te eet.

Sy gunsteling-resepte uit die kompetisie is almal in die Kokkedoortjie-boek opgeneem, van sy selfie-suurlemoenkolwyntjies wat hy vir die oudisie gemaak het, monsterkoekies uit Sesame Street, Franse roosterbroodvingers met graanvlokkie-kors, tregterkoekies tot sy Spaanse pizza, Usain Bolt-hoenderburger, beur-jou-op-bobotie en die souserige sjokoladekersiepoeding wat
hy in die finale rondte gemaak het.

Sy kenteken-gereg “Beesfilet-Cordon Bleu balle met sampioenroomsous” is sy persoonlike gunsteling.

Boekbesonderhede

“I am reminded that my son was indeed greatly loved, and is still missed by countless others, too – that I am not alone.” An excerpt from The Twinkling of an Eye

The Twinkling of an EyeTwelve-year-old Craig Brown is a high-achiever at one of the country’s top schools. He is smart, popular and adored by his family – an exuberant boy who dreams of going ‘straight to the big time’ as a high-flying lawyer.

Then a series of inexplicable events turns Craig’s world inside out: he develops academic problems and is accused of being a bully.

There’s vomiting, migraines and facial paralysis. An MRI scan reveals that a cancerous tumour, the size of a golf ball is slowly colonising Craig’s bright young brain. Now his parents must confront a grim reality: that their child’s high school years will be spent fighting for his life.

Told through the eyes of his mother, Sue Brown, this transformative tale charts Craig’s extraordinary battle, Brown’s personal struggles, and, above all, a mother’s heroic ability to face the unthinkable. Told with courage, humour and heart, this life-affirming memoir reveals that there is indeed a light that shines in the very darkest of places
 
 
 

PROLOGUE

‘Little man,’ I said, ‘tell me that it is only a bad dream, this affair of the snake, and the meeting place, and the star …’
– The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Craig clatters, two steps at a time, down the wide wooden staircase of our big Victorian home. Slowing only briefly to take the corners, and all dressed in his khaki school uniform, punctuated by the dark-and-light blue stripes of the Bishops Preparatory School tie. His hastily tucked in shirt tails are already escaping from underneath his navy pullover.

The ten-to-eight chapel bell peals out across the clear, cold outside.

Craig hops on one leg while pulling up the other long grey sock, stubbornly slipping down.

‘Quick Mom, I’m going to be late!’ his gravelly voice urges. He has shoved his homework folder and piano file into his outsized navy backpack: its transparent little window still reads, ‘Craig Brown, 6A.’ I breathe in his warm-from-bed boy smell, relishing that round, earnest face so close to me again.

The two of us half walk, half jog, to his nonstop, excited chatter.

Looking right and left as we cross Stone Pine Avenue, then onto the dew-wet grass of the rugby fields, the mown cuttings clogging the soles of our shoes. The sun is just lighting up the top of Table Mountain, where some first-light mist clings.

I feel anxious as we near the classroom buildings. How will Craig’s now-teenaged friends react to finding him in their midst again? How can I possibly explain to the teachers that we were wrong in believing the worst – that our son was terminally ill two years ago, when suddenly here he stands, still just the same age … still twelve years old?

Then I remember we have an appointment with his neuro- surgeon in the afternoon. He will hopefully be able to clear up all my confusion, I’m sure. I imagine him ordering new brain scans that will show what actually became of those rampant tumours – too many to count – on those last nightmare scans … after which we stopped looking.

In this subterranean dream dawn, I find great comfort in this conceived proximity to my son. The dream’s perplexities cause me to struggle up, through heavy layers of sleep, to perforate the surface of a common new day.

Our two cats are heat-seeking dead weights against me, resistant to being shifted as I adjust to my bearings to the inside of this smaller house, where we moved after Craig died. From where we no longer have to hear his school chapel bells toll each morning, a trumpet practice in the afternoon, or the bounce of tennis balls in the evening.

Soon Neil’s radio alarm will sound, and he will leave for his day’s work as a fund manager. I will wake our daughter, and drive her through the winding, tree-lined roads of Wynberg to
Springfield Convent School in Cape Town’s southern suburbs.

Where this achingly beautiful autumn morning will speak of the magnificent world still awaiting her.

And I will say, ‘Goodbye, love you,’ to her closing car door, with that longing to hover, to intercept all the heartache that life must still bring her way. That maternal need-to-protect so magnified (if that was ever possible) by my helpless observance of her brother’s brave reckoning with his own, impending death.

Craig’s absence in the car is a real, raw presence on the drive home, so I turn on the radio for some distraction. Owl City’s Adam Young, Craig’s favourite artist, is singing a new hit which
he will never hear, about a shooting star shining. It hurts more than the quiet, so I snap it off, and tears smart.

At home Craig’s little dog ‘Russell’, named after the Jack Russell part of his mix, waits impatiently for a walk, which keeps me from seeking escape in a little more sleep. The city hums at the foot of Table Mountain as it gears up for the day’s routine and, when Russell and I return, our Virginia creeper is glowing with its own, scarlet light. And there are brightly painted pansy faces in the blue pot at the door. A friend pops in for tea, and I am reminded that my son was indeed greatly loved, and is still missed by countless others, too – that I am not alone.

My head tells me that all of our days are numbered; that we will all be where he is, one day. In an eternal form – impossible to comprehend, even dream, this side of death – where the pain
of loss does not exist. But it is hope enough for a welling up of great thankfulness for this child, with whom I was entrusted for his thirteen years.

Book details

Bekendstelling: Radbraak deur Jolyn Phillips

In dié digbundel verbrokkel sy taal, draai sy rug op haar vel-taal, pleeg sy ‘radbraak’ op haar eie taal. Dit is die enigste medium wat sy het, maar sy breek dit, sy vernuwe dit, sy ‘ont’taal dit.

Phillips is ‘n nuwe stem in Afrikaans – by tye liries maar deurgaans skreiend en ook uitdagend.

Volgens bekroonde digter Petra Müller is Radbraak ‘n ‘klein aardbewing van ‘n bundel’.

Ook uit Müller se keurverslag:’Hierdie skrywer het die engel in die klip beet.’

Jolyn Phillips, 27, is gebore en getoë in Blompark, Gansbaai. Haar debuutkortverhaalbundel, Tjieng Tjang Tjerries and other stories, verskyn in 2016. Sy is tans besig om met haar doktorale tesis aan die Universiteit van Weskaapland (UWK). Sy beskryf haarself as ‘n woordswerwer maar werk ook deeltyds as ‘n dosent en sangeres.

Details

Two funky crochet patterns from Hello, Crochet

In this unusual crochet book, each pattern is used as a base for four different interpretations, depending on your style – bohemian, artistic, contemporary or romantic.

The patterns range in difficulty, and include pretty things for yourself, your home, babies and children, and for use as gifts.

There are also suggestions for using the same pattern for more than one project.

The perfect book for anyone who loves to crochet.

Take a sneak peek into Hello, Crochet
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Mini Petals
Combine the two designs, one with a two-dimensional flower and the other one with a three-dimensional flower, to create texture and an interesting pattern.
Size: 8 x 8 cm
Colours: Two colours are used for these patterns
Difficulty rating: Relatively easy

FLAT MOTIF
With colour 1; crochet 4 ch, join into ring with ss in 1st ch.
Rnd 1: 3 ch, 7 dc in ring, ss in top of beg-3 ch. Fasten off.
Rnd 2: with colour 2; 5 ch, *1 dc in next dc, 2 ch; rep from
* to end, ss in 3rd of 5 ch.
Rnd 3: 1 ch, 1 sc in the same st, 2 sc in 2 ch-sp, *1 sc in
next dc, 2 sc in 2 ch-sp; rep from * to end, ss in beg-sc.
Fasten off.
Rnd 4: with colour 1; 1 ch, 1 sc in the same st, 1 dc in next
sc, 2 tr in next 2 sc, 1 dc in next sc, 1 hdc in next sc, (1 sc
in next sc, 1 dc in next sc, 2 tr in next 2 sc, 1 dc in next sc,
1 hdc in next sc) 3 times, ss in beg-sc. Fasten off.
Rnd 5: with colour 2; join yarn in 1st dc with 1 ch, 1 sc in
the same st, 1 sc in next st, 2 sc in next 2 sts, 1 sc in next
2 sts, 1 spike st (in rnd 3) in next 2 sts, (1 sc in next
2 sts, 2 sc in next 2 sts, 1 sc in next 2 sts, 1 spike st in
next 2 sts) 3 times, ss in beg-sc. Fasten off.
Rnd 6: with colour 1 (work in back loops); 3 ch in st just
after the spike st, 1 dc in the same st, 1 hdc in next sc,
1 sc in next sc, 2 ch, skip 2 sc, (1 sc in next sc, 1 hdc in
next sc, 2 dc in next sc, 2 tr in next sc, 1 picot, 2 tr in
next sc, 2 dc in next sc, 1 hdc in next sc, 1 sc in next sc,
2 ch, skip 2 sc) 3 times, 1 sc in next sc, 1 hdc in next sc,
2 dc in next sc, 2 tr in next sc, 1 picot, 2 tr in next sc, ss
in beg-3 ch. Fasten off.
Rnd 7: Complete this rnd for the 1st motif only.
Crochet the 2nd and following motifs together in
this rnd. With colour 2; join yarn in 2 ch-sp with 1 ch,
1 sc in the same st, 1 sc in next 6 sts, (1 sc, 5 ch, 1 sc) in
next picot, 1 sc in next 6 sts, [1 sc in 2 ch-sp, 1 sc in next
6 sts, (1 sc, 5 ch, 1 sc) in next picot, 1 sc in next 6 sts]
3 times, ss in beg-sc. Fasten off.

Rose Hat

Perfect for wearing while cutting roses for the house, this hat is made with variegated yarn that looks faded for real old-world charm. The little roses on the side band are reminiscent of roses on an antique porcelain tea set. Wear this hat for a romantic, relaxed look.

Difficulty rating: Easy
Yarn
• 2 x 50 g Elle Premier 4 ply
Bleuet
• 1 x 50 g Elle Premier 4 ply
Millstone
• 1 x 50 g Elle Premier 4 ply
Moss
Crochet hook
3–3,5 mm
Finished size
Adult hat approximately 60 cm
Special technique
Crab stitch (see page 161)
Notions
• Stitch marker
• Tapestry needle
• Scissors
Note
See anatomy of hat on
page 46.

PATTERN
TIP OF CROWN
Use Bleuet for rnds 1 and 2 of MOTIF 1 on page 198 and
continue in Bleuet with:
Rnd 3: ch 3, (work 4 trs in next ch-sp, tr in top of 3 tr-gr) 7 times,
work 4 trs in next ch-sp, ss in 3rd ch at beg of rnd 3.
Rnd 4: ch 3, [tr 2 tog, ch 3, tr 3 tog] in same sp as last ss of rnd 3,
(ch 3, skip 4 trs, [tr 3 tog, ch 3, tr 3 tog] in next tr) 7 times, ch 3,
ss in top of 1st tr-gr of rnd 4.
Rnd 5: ch 3, (work 4 trs in next ch-sp, tr in top of 3 tr-gr) 15
times, work 4 trs in next ch-sp, ss in 3rd ch at beg of rnd 5.
Rnd 6: ch 3, [tr 2 tog, ch 2, tr 3 tog] in same sp as last ss of rnd 5,
(ch 2, skip 4 trs, [tr 3 tog, ch 2, tr 3 tog] in next tr) 15 times, ch 2,
ss in top of 1st tr-gr of rnd 6.
Rnd 7: ch 3, (work 3 trs in next ch-sp, tr in top of 3 tr-gr) 31
times, work 3 trs in next ch-sp, ss in 3rd ch at beg of rnd 7,
fasten off.
SIDE BAND
Use pattern for MOTIF 1 on page 198 and crochet:
Rnd 1: Millstone
Rnd 2: Moss

 

Hello, Crochet

Book details

Launch – Firepool by Hedley Twidle

Firepool is a chronicle of South Africa in the ‘second transition’ – one in which the foundations of the post-apartheid settlement are being shaken and questioned in all kinds of ways.

From the complex legacy of artists like Moses Taiwa Molelekwa and JM Coetzee to the #FeesMustFall protests, from the N2 highway to the gnawing uncertainty of our nuclear future, Hedley Twidle treats serious subjects with a sense of playfulness, mischief and imagination.

Deeply personal, and spanning culture, elemental landscape and ideas, Twidle gets under the skin of South Africa in fresh and unexpected ways.

Hedley Twidle is an essayist of rare brilliance. His reach is remarkable. Whatever subject he touches, his writing is always luminous, astute and often darkly funny. – Rob Nixon

Hedley Twidle’s work is exquisitely crafted, clever, self-deprecating, and, above all, deeply thoughtful. We are lucky to have a writer of his calibre working on contemporary South African material. – Johnny Steinberg

Hedley Twidle is a writer, teacher and scholar based at UCT. He was born in Johannesburg and studied in KwaZulu-Natal, Oxford and York. Much of his current work concerns life-writing, non-fiction narrative and the essay in the 21st century. He writes regularly for publications like The New Statesman, Financial Times and Mail & Guardian.

Event Details

The Twinkling of an Eye charts a mother’s heroic ability to face the unthinkable

Twelve-year-old Craig Brown is a high-achiever at one of the country’s top schools. He is smart, popular and adored by his family – an exuberant boy who dreams of going ‘straight to the big time’ as a high-flying lawyer.

Then a series of inexplicable events turns Craig’s world inside out: he develops academic problems and becomes the school bully.

There’s vomiting, migraines and facial paralysis. An MRI scan reveals that a cancerous tumour, the size of a golf ball is slowly colonising Craig’s bright young brain.

Now his parents must confront a grim reality: that their child’s high school years will be spent fighting for his life.

Told through the eyes of his mother, Sue Brown, this transformative tale charts Craig’s extraordinary battle, Brown’s personal struggles, and, above all, a mother’s heroic ability to face the unthinkable. Told with courage, humour and heart, this life-affirming memoir reveals that there is indeed a light that shines in the very darkest of places.

Sue Brown is a qualified physiotherapist who has worked at Groote Schuur and Vincent Pallotti Hospitals, in London for a time, and in private practice in Cape Town. Her journey with Craig changed her life completely. Currently, she volunteers at the St Luke’s Hospice in Cape Town.

Book details

Kyk die lokprent vir Troula Goose se aangrypende Maanlig-meermin

Kate se pa kanselleer hulle Durban-vakansie en sleep haar saam na die plaas in die Klein Karoo waar hy grootgeword het.

Sommer met die intrapslag gee die spokerige plaas en sy weird mense Kate koue rillings, maar stormweer laat die drif afkom en hulle is vasgekeer.

Diep in die donker kloof agter die opstal word Kate se tergende vrae beantwoord: Skuil daar regtig ‘n meermin in die riviere van die Klein Karoo?

En wat het sy met haar, Kate, te doen? 

Skrywer Troula Goosen is in haar sestigs en woon in Bettiesbaai. Sy het onlangs eers begin skryf en haar eerste boek Spooksoene (Protea Boekhuis) word in 2016 met ‘n ATKV-veertjie bekroon. Troula het ses grillekker stories bygedra vir Skool is ‘n riller.
 
 

Kyk die lokprent vir Maanlig-meermin hier:

 

 
 
Lees ‘n onlangse resensie deur Nichola Viviers, ‘n leerder aan Hoër Meisieskool Bloemhof:

 

Boekbesonderhede

Radbraak: Jolyn Phillips se digdebuut in Afrikaans

Radbraak is Jolyn Phillips, kortverhaalskrywer van Tjieng tjang tjerries, se digdebuut in Afrikaans.

In dié digbundel verbrokkel sy taal, draai sy rug op haar vel-taal, pleeg sy ‘radbraak’ op haar eie taal. Dit is die enigste medium wat sy het, maar sy breek dit, sy vernuwe dit, sy ‘ont’taal dit.

Phillips is ‘n nuwe stem in Afrikaans – by tye liries maar deurgaans skreiend en ook uitdagend.

Volgens bekroonde digter Petra Müller is Radbraak ‘n ‘klein aardbewing van ‘n bundel’.

Ook uit Müller se keurverslag:’Hierdie skrywer het die engel in die klip beet.’

Jolyn Phillips, 27, is gebore en getoë in Blompark, Gansbaai. Haar debuutkortverhaalbundel, Tjieng Tjang Tjerries and other stories, verskyn in 2016. Sy is tans besig om met haar doktorale tesis aan die Universiteit van Weskaapland (UWK). Sy beskryf haarself as ‘n woordswerwer maar werk ook deeltyds as ‘n dosent en sangeres.

Boekbesonderhede

Hoe ken jy ’n sosiopaat uit? Lees hoofstuk agt van André le Roux se nuwe boek om uit te vind…

Narsiste, psigopate, stalkers en sadisteJy het vandag niksvermoedend by minstens een psigopaat verbygeloop.

En by die huis wag ‘n narsis op jou en ‘n sluiper by jou venster. Wie is hierdie ongure, gevaarlike mense?

Uitgebreide navorsing en gevallestudies – van Daisy de Melker tot Oscar Pistorius – maak hierdie mense werklik en herkenbaar. Sodat jy hulle kan vermy…

M.E. se eie Psigopaat-toets
Op haar blog, www.sociopathworld.com, het M.E. Thomas in Desember 2010 haar eie “Sociopath test” aangebied: “How to spot them before they target you.” (Uit die mond van die sosiopaat … en let op die “hulle”.)

Sy kry dié vraag gereeld en uit haar persoonlike ondervinding met (ander) sosiopate glo sy daar’s ’n paar maklik waarneembare gedrags- of persoonlikheidseienskappe waaraan jy ’n sosiopaat kan uitken:

1. Sosiopate maak tipies nie soveel praatjies oor hulself soos normale mense nie. Hulle sal die gesprek teruglei na die ander persoon. (M.E. sê sy’s altyd die een wat ’n gesprek beëindig, skielik. “Die enigste ding waarvoor ek werklik omgee wanneer ek met mense praat, is om te kry wat ek wil hê.”)
 
 
2. ’n Sosiopaat sal “persoonlike” detail strategies deel met die doel om die ander persoon te mislei of ’n vals sin van intimiteit/vertroue te skep. Sosiopate sal selde die waarheid oor hulself praat.

3. Sosiopate aarsel gereeld voordat hulle antwoord. Sy sê dit sal nie vir jou duidelik wees of hulle verveeld, vies is of jok nie. Of dalk al drie.

4. Hulle het nie sterk reaksies op omstrede politieke of sosiale onderwerpe nie (soos byvoorbeeld Katolieke priesters wat kinders molesteer).

5. ’n Monotone stem. “Sê hulle my.” M.E. praat met ’n doelbewuste aksent om haarself ’n bietjie meer misterieus, aantreklik en niebedreigend te maak.

6. ’n Geneigdheid om dinge te letterlik op te neem, of om andersins nie toepaslik te reageer op klein emosionele tekens nie. Sosiopate, nes skisofrene, verstaan nie sarkasme en ironie of abstrakte taal soos metafore nie – nog ’n manier om hulle uit te ken. Wanneer iemand byvoorbeeld ’n glas breek en jy sê: “Dis nou mooi…” sal die psigopaat/skisofreen reageer met: “Wat’s so mooi aan ’n glas wat breek?” (Of Oscar Pistorius wat opreg om verskoning vra omdat Anneliese Burgess weer begin rook het.) Maar gelukkig, sê M.E., kan sosiopate ook wegkom deur alles letterlik op te neem. Wanneer sy sou sê sy’s lus en maak daardie oulike klein diertjie dood, dink mense sy maak ’n grap.

7. Kil afsydigheid teenoor een of meer gesinslede. (M.E. sê wel sy’s baie lief vir haar familie. “Pseudoliefde” het Hervey Cleckley dit genoem.)

8. Hy’s oënskynlik ’n ander mens wanneer die sosiopaat ingedagte is, wanneer sy aandag by iets anders is.

9. Geen verband tussen wat die sosiopaat sê en doen nie. Byvoorbeeld: Dit lyk of hy goeie dade doen, maar hy gee nie werklik geld vir, byvoorbeeld,
haweloses nie.

10. Toon nooit tekens van verleentheid nie. Kry maklik en selfversekerd groot gehore in die palm van sy hand. Dis bloot ’n gebrek aan senuwees.

11. Voldoen nie aan die stereotipes van gender, ras, etnisiteit, ouderdom, seksuele oriëntasie of loopbaan nie. Hy kan dus nie so maklik “geplaas” word nie.

12. Kan heen en weer wissel tussen ’n baie lae profiel handhaaf (die waarnemer) tot kaatjie van die baan (die akteur). M.E. meen omdat hierdie eienskappe nie direk deel vorm van klassieke sosiopatiese of antisosiale gedrag nie het die sosiopaat minder rede om dit weg te steek. Wat hom of haar dan makliker herkenbaar maak. Sy glo wat die sosiopaat eintlik van alle ander mense onderskei, is “ons kompulsies, ons motiverings en die narratiewe wat ons vir onsself oor ons innerlike lewens vertel”.

13. Sosiopate vertel teenstrydige stories. Haar boek is op sigself ’n storie met heelwat teenstrydighede. Byvoorbeeld: Sy was nie die slagoffer van kindermishandeling nie, sê sy, maar vertel dan hoe haar “gewelddadige” pa sy kinders een vir een met ’n gordel afgeransel het, en haar ma was dikwels afwesig en soms “histeries”. Haar ouers was narsiste. Desondanks het sy ’n hegte gesin (hoewel “disfunksioneel”). Sy sluit ook haar boek af met die begeerte om uit te kom agter haar masker. Maar dis nog te onveilig. Sy waarsku dan ander sosiopate: “Daar is boeke en webblaaie wat daaraan gewy word om sosiopate uit te ken en te vermy. Moenie met hierdie mense praat nie, moenie naby hulle kom nie, moenie in hul strik beland nie.”

Nadat sy pas gesê het hoe om ’n sosiopaat uit te ken … Psigopate kom nie hul eie teenstrydighede agter nie. Klaarblyklik hanteer hulle hul teenstrydige stories nes hul leuens – trek net skouers op. Uiteindelik is die psigopaat (of narsis) se hele lewe onder verdenking. M.E. se dertien punte is uitgebrei deur lesers van haar blog:

14. Kom dikwels sag, liefdevol of passievol voor, maar kan ewe skielik omswaai na selfgesentreerd, koud en onapologeties, en omgekeerd.

15. Kan oënskynlik almal se probleme verstaan, is logies en gee raad.

16. Hy’s goed daarmee om raad te gee oor sosiale manipulasies, kamma om vriende, geliefdes en familie te “help”.

17. Die “suur” of wrang glimlag van doelbewuste leuenaars. Oor die algemeen is dit ’n suur gesigsuitdrukking om enige ander uitdrukking op daardie oomblik weg te steek.

18. ’n Rigiede, doodse, “gevriesde” gesigsuitdrukking. Psigopate self word nie van stryk gebring deur direkte oogkontak nie. Die meeste mense voel ontsenu as hulle aangestaar word. (“Wat kyk jy?” sou ’n tipiese reaksie wees.) Wanneer mense gesels, maak hulle oogkontak, kyk weg, maak weer oogkontak. Dit help om hul gedagtes agtermekaar te kry. Die luisteraar kyk gewoonlik meer in die spreker se oë as andersom. En wanneer die spreker dan té langdurige oogkontak maak, laat dit die een wat in die oë gekyk word ongemaklik, selfs kwesbaar voel.

“Deur nie ordentlikheidshalwe weg te kyk nie word dit dikwels beskou as selfversekerd, aggressief, verleidend of roofdieragtig,” skryf M.E. “Die aangename doodgewoonheid van my hare wat liggies aan my wimpers raak, is daar om die intensiteit van my oë te neutraliseer. Hulle is deurdringend en gevoelloos.”

Maar wees bedag daarop: Die psigopaat kan ook kyk om te verlei. Met ’n amper hipnotiese kyk “so diep in jou oë”, en hy maak seker dit laat jou nie ongemaklik voel nie, eerder belangrik, asof hy werklik in jou as mens belangstel.

Kil. Berekend. Dalk met ’n glimlaggie.

Die enigste manier om die psigopaat se blik te troef is om nie weg te kyk
nie. Maar dis nie so maklik nie.

Daardie kyk maak jou bang.

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